Ever feel like you’re just one petty annoyance away from becoming the crotchety old guy from your childhood neighborhood that used to yell “get off my lawn, you kids!” whenever you passed his house? Yeah, us too. That’s why we employ that guy to write this part of the blog. Enjoy! (Or, if not, get off our lawn, you kids!)
Look, I love self-published authors. If there were no self-published authors, I’d be stuck waiting for traditional publishers to release stuff for me to read, and let’s face it, traditional publishers are slow as Christmas and I just don’t have that kind of patience. I could die between books 1 and 3 of my favorite series’ waiting on traditional publishing, and who wants to die with a series left unfinished?
Self-published authors work faster and sometimes harder than the traditional publishing companies out there, and I appreciate their efforts. But seriously, folks, what’s up with all the crappy self-published book covers out there today? I mean, I’m seeing ugly fonts, weird photos, tons of headless shirtless dudes (for God knows what reason), bad Photoshop work and design that looks like my ten-year-old grandson put it together in Word. (No offense, kid)
Now, I know what you’re all going to say: “But, Get Off My Lawn guy, self-published authors can’t always afford to hire professional cover designers. It’s expensive!” Whine, whine, whine, blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda. That’s all bullcrap and you know it. Time to get off your butts and start treating self-publishing as a business, not a hobby. Stamp collecting and playing those Poke-whatever games are hobbies. When you publish a book, you’re an author, and your readers deserve some respect. Give them a cover they can love as much as they love your words. It doesn’t have to be an expensive cover. I went onto that interwebs thing the kids at Knockin’ Books are always yammering about. I know there’s cheap premade covers out there that don’t suck. You can lie to yourselves, but you can’t lie to me, folks!
Oh, and while I was out on the interwebs looking at cover designers, I stumbled into a few groups where a bunch of whiny self-published folks were moaning about how they didn’t get any respect in the industry. Well, maybe a professional-looking cover would help, huh? Ya think?
In summary, let a professional designer do your book cover instead of letting your second cousin’s kid who once took an art class take a crack at it. Have some pride, people! And if not, well, then get off my lawn!